Song of my Passing
I could not see anything
but long gray empty days
stretch away before me.
If I had known how to free myself,
do you think I would have stayed
as I was of my own accord?
I never knew the secret
of how to let my head
guide my heart. I had
other hungers beyond just those to survive.
There was no one
I could really tell
about the depths of me.
I reached out but
my arms betrayed me,
hanging motionless.
No one would embrace me.
I could not blame them.
How should they discover
what I'd hidden so artfully?
The deep pool accepted me
without a sound
(finally quelling all fear).
No ripples, few tears
no lives really changed,
not even many really good stories.
But I was beautiful beneath it all,
as are we all...
I was just frightened to death, slowly,
by decades.
No one knew what songs
I wanted to have sung
at my passing.
I could not see anything
but long gray empty days
stretch away before me.
I could not walk them alone any longer.
I had grown too tired, hope withered, faith frayed...
I just could not face any more of those days
without some hand to hold
--
January 3, 2000